Are you letting ‘shoulds’ get in the way of your crochet?

I’m sure you’ve heard some of these things before:

“You should hold the yarn in your left hand”

“You should crochet right-handed (even if you’re a lefty)”

“You should tension the yarn with your pinky”

“You should crochet through both loops”

Says WHO? The International Committee of I’m-better-than-you Crocheters? The Lord of Crochet?


holding crochet hook like a pencil

The Real Rules of Crochet

All of these ‘shoulds’ really get me riled up.

They’re rules made up by people with superiority complexes.

And all they do is make crocheting not fun for people. It scares of beginners. It makes people doing it ‘another way’ feel wrong. What good is that?

crochet knife hold

Here are what I think are the real rules of crochet:

  • You should hold the yarn in the way that feels most comfortable for you
  • You should crochet in a way that minimizes pain and discomfort
  • You should crochet so that your project turns out looking like you want it to
  • You should use crochet to make you feel happy and inspired!

Any ‘should’ that tells you you’re wrong is baloney!

Are you with me?

Have you had someone tell you a ‘should’ that held you back?

Share your story!

And together, we can continue on crocheting in the way that makes us happy!

23 replies on “Are you letting ‘shoulds’ get in the way of your crochet?

  • Wendi Gratz

    Yes! Telling people there’s only one right way to crochet (or sew, or quilt, or embroider) is like telling kids there’s only one right way to play!

  • Nuria

    Totally agree!!!! I dont like people who thinks they have the rules of the knitting or crocheting or stitching… Rules??? What rules ?? I do it for fun not for perfection( I try to do my best but if its not perfect i dont mind…. But i know people who only look the back of your stitching for checking !;))))how stessful !!!
    I love your post!!!!

  • Yoely

    When I first try out doing crochet the woman who show me the way to do it insisted a lot that I should hold the yarn a way that was really different from what I was doing. As a begginer, I was pretty scared that if I didn’t learn the “right way” to do it I was never going to be able to crochet but I realize that my OWN WAY was my OWN right way to crochet and it felt great. Now I’ve done a lot of projects that my OWN way made them possible.

  • Diane

    You go girl!
    I’m left handed.My grandmother taught me and let me use my left hand to learn. but I have asked people to teach me a new stitch before and they could not bear to watch left handed or teach me,so I learn new stitches from books and now u-tube.

    • Profile photo of Stacey


      Thank you for sharing, Diane! I can’t tell you how many students I have who are left-handed and they were taught that the only way to crochet is with the right hand… it breaks my heart, because of course, crocheting with your non-dominant hand is awkward!
      I’m so happy you ignore all those folks trying to get you to ‘convert’! :)

  • Sue Larkin

    I’m a self taught crocheter, my mother tried to teach me but I couldn’t do it “properly”.
    Great news that I can do it my way!

  • Sarah Jones

    I’m so glad it’s not just me! I started teaching crochet workshops just over a year ago and was surprised by the number of students who’ve been told they’re not doing it correctly. Like you, I am a big advocate of doing what is right for you and taking the time to find your technique and rhythm!

  • Jaishri

    Ohh yess :-D:-D I want to do what makes me happy cause crocheting is my one escape into my own beautiful world♥♥

  • Rebecca

    Yes! My mother in law taught me to crochet and I just couldn’t get the hang of tensioning with my pinky. She told me to do whatever is most comfortable because she would rather me do what works for me than get frustrated and give up. Same thing happened with knitting. But you know what? It works and I can do both, just my own way!

  • Tricotic

    Yes ! I’m French and live in Germany. Frenchs learn to knit holding yarn in the right hand, Germans holding the yarn in the left hand. Germans left-handed are sometimes taught to knit with yarn in right hand when french left-handed are taught to knit with yarn in left hand ! It’s all non sense. Left or right, the way to do is the way that is most confortable.

  • Margaret

    I can crochet, and that’s all.
    No matter how I hold my yarn and with what hand.
    Main thing my items comes out the same way as the patern say.
    Thanks Stacey for the “No Rule” Rule!

  • Natalia

    Hah, I definitely agree. I hold my yarn in a very strange way (I have never actually met anyone who does it as I do). That is the reason I never in my patterns show pictures of myself holding the yarn and the crochet hook – I don’t want people to get confused and think that is the “right” or “only” way to do it. You can hold it with your teeth if you please as long as it helps you to finish the project.

  • Lindy Follett

    I’m a lefty with arthritis in my hands that has required surgeries. I’ve crocheted with casts on my wrists, and throughout a long recovery from a complete shoulder replacement recently. My crochet hook has been held in a wide variety of creative grips, but the gentle rhythm of the project flow has kept me calm and focused throughout it all. “Whatever works” works for me!

  • Karen

    I was going to give up learning crochet because of the “You Should’s”. But after reading this I am inspired to start again! I thought if its going to be this hard I don’t want to know about it!

Comments are closed.